#10: Jocko Letter Review #2

Reviewing a letter from Jocko to a struggling leader at the end of his rope.

Last week, I dove in on the first of two letters Jocko covers in Jocko Podcast 5. This week, I'm going to dive into the second one.

This letter was to a SEAL leader with a horrible reputation, who was on his last leg and was on the verge of losing his job. Jocko wrote this letter, and then brought the leader into his office to give it to him as well as read it to him and make sure the leader understood the message.

As with the first letter, I've transcribed and formatted this letter based on how I interpreted it from the way Jocko presented it in the podcast, so there are likely a few errors scattered within.

Jocko's note reads:

Seldom do I have to do this. Most guys listen, and adjust, and get better, and move on. My cadre and your leadership asked that I talk to you. And it is my job, and my duty, and my responsibility to try to make squared away, tactical SEAL leaders. Know this: I have personally worked with, and seen, all kinds of platoon commanders, with all kinds of personalities. If you count my previous experience in platoons and in training cell, and as an enlisted man, the number is pretty big. I've done seven deployments, serving in every spot, from the youngest E-3 new guy the oldest and the task unit commander.

That being said, I'm not that good at anything, but I am a hard worker. I don't like to waste my time with people that don't appear to have the desire to be better SEALs, and you don't appear to have a desire to improve yourself. Despite your history, which includes the following: getting bad fit reps, getting sent to a staff billet as a junior officer, and finally, having a horrible reputation in the teams; I didn't take this into account when looking at you as a SEAL officer and as a man. I don't care what people say, I judge people on what I see with my own eyes.

At first, I thought you were just another alpha male SEAL, that rubs people the wrong way. No big deal. There are plenty of SEALs like that. I usually like them. Most of my true friends fall into that category.

As time passed, I began to see something different. This is what I see:

• You are insecure about something. I don't know what, but it forces you to act arrogant and come across selfish.

• Your performance as a tactical leader varies between below average and average, with some visible spikes of increased potential.

• You are almost incapable of communicating with other people respectfully.

• You have some good ideas from time to time, but you act as if you know everything all the time.

• Your ability to elevate your presence to that of a respected leader of men, on the battlefield and in garrison, is almost nonexistent.

• You cannot mask your emotions, and you don't understand the ramifications of that shortfall.

• You do not have the understanding of human nature, team building, leadership, influence, manipulation, compromise and the broad concepts of tactical operational and strategic leadership and management.

Perhaps you don't have the intellect to understand these things. Because if you did, why are we sitting here, talking about this? Why am I not thinking: "this might not be the most polished guy in the world, but he's a good guy, and he'll get things done". For some reason, you believe that you are a victim. That people don't like you, or have it out for you. This is not true, and it isolates you, hurts your ability to interact with people, and keeps you in a paranoid, guarded, and confrontational state.

Next, you don't understand the broad skills required to be a good SEAL leader, such as tact, team building, communications, and trust building. You do not understand the burden of command. You do not understand the influence you have on your men. You do not understand the gift you have been honored with, to lead men in combat against our nation's sworn enemies.

My concern is how you will act overseas when lives are at stake. I cannot allow you to go forward with these shortfalls.

Corrective Measures

1. Be humble.

2. Truly and deeply accept the fact that you have some serious personality defects that you need to immediately put in check and over the long term, completely fix.

3. Understand that the criticism you are hearing from me is not mine alone, but also my staff's and your leadership's as well. I've also heard this from other people, outside your command. Your reputation is horrible.

4. Embrace and contemplate the solemn responsibility of being a SEAL officer about to lead men into battle, and possibly to their deaths. Embrace the burden of command.

5. Be the best at everything you do. In doing that, one, put everyone else before yourself. Push away compliments, shift them to your peers and to your men. Accept responsibility of failures and shortfalls only. For in them, is the improvement and growth.

6. Truly listen, and try to understand what people tell you by first understanding that your personal compass is wrong. Truly and completely wrong. For what is right and wrong, for what a good SEAL and a bad one is, for what makes an exceptional leader and a horrible one. You must correct this compass so that it may guide you in the right direction.

7. Lose your ego.

These are tall tasks, but you control them all. We need good, aggressive leaders in the SEAL teams. We don't need the person that I outlined above. It's in your hands, good luck.

Takeaways

1. Write things down. Then you can read it out loud if necessary.

The first thing that struck me about this letter is the way Jocko approached this entire situation. Jocko took the time to write down his thoughts and make sure he had clearly articulated what he needed to communicate. He then brought that employee in and read the letter off. He didn't write things down to organize his thoughts and then make it a conversation. He read the letter.

This struck me because while I've had difficult conversations, I've never approached one this way. I've written my thoughts down before, but I've never literally just read the letter off of the sheet of paper. Maybe in my head I thought that would come across as weak. Jocko's approach to this situation has given me another play to add to the playbook as a leader handling difficult situations.

2. I've got personality defects.

While we all may not be a disaster of a leader to the extent that this individual was, we all have our personality defects. This sounds aggressive, but we know it's true. We know it's true because we know we aren't perfect. I believe we all know this implicitly, even though some of us can't admit it to ourselves explicitly.

I've certainly criticized personality defects of leaders I've worked under in the past, and I've been acutely aware of how those defects have impacted my life. But now as I grow as a leader, I recognize those defects in myself. Those defects of my personality that impact the lives of those people I lead and have relationships with.

It's a constant struggle I face to put those defects in check, and in the long term strive to completely kill them off.

3. Be humble and lose the ego.

Piggy backing off #2, if I'm not humble enough to truly recognize and evaluate my defects, I've got no shot in fixing them. I think that's the core message of this entire letter. For me, and I think many others, it can be extremely hard to detach enough to see for myself something about me that is so blatantly obvious to the rest of the world. Whether its an insecurity or weakness or whatever it may be.

4. The burden of command.

As I continue to grow, the weight of my decisions grow with me. My actions affect many more people than just myself, and that's a weight that has to be carried. I'm reminded of something I once heard from Jordan Peterson. He was asked about power corrupting individuals, and his response was:

"If you're not suited for the position, if you're not the man for the position, you can be absolutely 100% sure that power will corrupt you. How could it not? At least, if you don't have the chops for the job, you have to devalue the job to the point where you can feel comfortable inhabiting it."

This concept struck me. The idea of a leader not recognizing their responsibility and downplaying it to a point they are comfortable being in that role. Many of us have seen that in leaders we've worked with.

If I don't recognize the burden of my command, and I devalue that burden to a point I feel comfortable inhabiting the role or taking on that responsibility, I leave myself open for corruption and I place myself and my team in a dangerous situations. Instead, I've got to make sure I understand the burden of command, and do my best at growing into and becoming the person to shoulder that load.

Closing

This is one of those documents that I think should always resonate with me, no matter how far along I make it on my leadership paradigm. It's a stark reminder of what I've got to always be cognizant of and looking for in myself. If there comes a day where a letter like this doesn't hit home for me in some way, that's probably an indication the day has come where I'm no longer fit to lead.