#9: Jocko Letter Review #1
Reviewing a letter from Jocko to a good leader with room for improvement.
Recently I've been going back and listening to some of Jocko's original podcasts. In Jocko Podcast 5, Jocko reads and adds context to two letters he wrote to fellow SEAL officers during his time in the military. The letters were both focused on developing the leadership skills of his teammates, but are very different in the context.
Today, I'm diving into the first letter. A letter from Jocko to a SEAL leader who is a friend trying to move along his leadership paradigm. A leader who is doing well in their role, but has room for improvement. The below text is not the original, it's my best interpretation of how the letter was written based on how Jocko presented it on the podcast.
The letter reads:
Leadership is getting people to do things–this is a form of manipulation. Leadership is nothing more than getting people to do what you want both up and down the chain of command. More importantly, getting them to want to do what you want them to do is the best form of leadership and the highest form of manipulation. Every time we open our mouths to speak to another person, our goal is to get them what we want them to do. Otherwise, why the hell are we talking? So everything you say: the tone of your voice, the words you choose, the inflection on those words and body language and facial expression, are all tools to be used to make progress in getting your way. Or, tools that you misuse and isolate yourself and move away from your goals.
You are always in negotiation. Everything you say and do and the manner in which you say and do it has an impact on future outcomes. The best way to win is when the other person doesn't know you've won, and if possible, might not even know that there was a fight. If your ego requires the constant food of victory, you can never win in this manner.
Creating adversarial or antagonistic relationships never helps you reach end goals. This is slightly related to the old "keep your friends close and enemies closer". People who outright oppose me will never help me, and will usually maneuver to hurt my cause. This is never good. At least a neutral relationship seldom results in someone actively sabotaging my efforts. Your history reveals that you are good at getting into adversarial situations. You should work to control that impulse, it will never help you to attain your goals.
Don't burn bridges, period. Nothing is ever gained by this. The future is never known, and I always do what I can to keep lines of communication open, bridges in tact, and reinforced if possible. I don't like to say never, but when dealing with human relationships, which are inherently complex and unpredictable, I believe that you should never follow courses of action that cannot be undone, reversed, or manipulated in the future.
Believe in what you're saying but accept that you might be wrong. I believe in what I'm saying, and if I don't believe it, I study and question it until it makes sense. Or, I change what I'm saying until I do believe it. If I'm wrong, I look forward to admitting it. Because it gives the opportunity to advertise being humble and open minded. You are not good at being wrong or taking criticism. This is a weakness of yours, so recognize fool.
Think strategic. You will win and lose daily battles all the time. If you flaunt your victories, which you do, they hurt you strategically. If you sulk in your defeats, which you also do, it hurts you strategically. This is wrong. Winning in daily battles gives you the opportunity to deflect credit, show your humbleness in victory, and show your ability to lead, which all help you in the long term fight to achieve your goals. Losing a battle gives you the opportunity to generously seed your position, to admit you're wrong, which both display humbleness and display your ability to follow. You have a bad tendency to get caught up in tactical battles. You expend effort and ammunition, receive wounds, and tear yourself up when you should be thinking strategically.
Speaking to people. Treat everyone with respect. From E1 to O10. Speak with humility. This disarms people and is one of the best forms of manipulation. Disarmed people are open to suggestion. Overconfidence and condescending tone, which is common for you, causes defenses to go up, and people to get defensive. That being said, subtle confidence and believing in what you are saying, as noted above, allow people to also believe in what you are saying and that they trust in your judgement and leadership. However, do not speak as if you know things your opponent does not. That offends everyone, especially SEALs.
Your rank means nothing in an argument. Pulling rank, in any way, is defeat. Pulling the experience card is weak. Arguments should be able to stand on their own, without needing to be backed up by "the way we did it in Baghdad", "the way we did it in Ramadi", "the way we did it in Afghanistan" or whatever the case may be. You shouldn't need to say that. Now, you can site an example, but that shouldn't be the basis of your argument.
Anyway, those are some thoughts. I thought about this today after we had that conversation. I left thinking about my principles of management leadership off the battlefield in administrative situations. These are the same principles I used in combat, building relationships and leading, and I also use them in administrative leadership situations and as you know I've been successful in that environment as well. You are a great leader, just make some adjustments to your game and you will be even better.
Things that hit me
As I listened to this, a few things hit home:
1. Everything I do matters.
In the second point, Jocko hits the point of you are always in a negotiation. He points this out because he's trying to make it sink in that everything you do as a leader matters. Everything I say and do and the way in which I say it and do it has an impact on all of my relationships. I find myself forgetting this important fact often. The place I slip up the most here is off the cuff 1-on-1 conversations. It's easier to make sure you're in the right frame of mind when I'm presenting to a group of people, but much harder for me when I'm having a more intimate conversation.
2. If I'm speaking, I should have a goal.
In the first point, Jocko points out that every time we open our mouths to speak to another person, our goal is to get them what we want them to do. I love this statement because it points out that if you're speaking, you should have a goal. Why am I speaking? What is my desired outcome?
I have a tendency to go on rants from time to time. If I'm being honest with myself, when I rant I find that what I'm really doing is trying to sort throw my own thoughts, for myself. Not for the benefit of the poor soul I'm dragging along with me. I rant when I haven't gotten to the bottom of something, and I'm sorting out my thoughts in real time.
I think this frame of having a goal for my speech will help me rid myself of this habit. If there's something I need to get to the bottom of, I can do that on my own time without wasting the time of others.
3. Don't get caught up in small battles.
It's easy for me to get caught up in small tactical battles when I should be thinking more strategically and long term. I most often find myself diving in on small battles I shouldn't when it's a type of battle I was previously responsible for. I think the primary strategy for me to build on to avoid this is to make sure I've got my priorities straight. I find that when I've got my priorities in order, I am better at recognizing what the smaller, tactical battles are and it's easier for me to let go of those.
Closing
While some parts of the letter hit home more than others, this letter serves as a great reminder for many things we need to make sure we're honing in on as leaders. Next week, I'll dive into the second letter, which is to a struggling leader at the end of their rope. It's a much, much more brutal and hard hitting letter.
